titane (2021) rambling
(yes i’m deranged over this movie)
titane’s central character, alexia as a woman who underwent metamorphosis via disability and disfigurement, and only felt understood and seen by that which lent to her unbecoming.
feeling the need to really be a part of it and let it inhabit her because she felt it’s all she’d ever have. and adrien as the boy who got lost to time. a figment thing in the imagination of his father, ready to become anything he needed to be so his withered father could get by. alexia becomes adrien and vincent. both clinging to what changed them and made them the beasts they see themselves as. alexia looked in the mirror one day and saw something monstrous and thought “i can be this. i will show them a monster” and the spiritual car sex as a metaphor for disability and disfigurement and clinging to a fragment of what life was before. and at times, wanting the catalyst for the unbecoming of your humanity to be so deep inside of you you feel it pulse. because if we can’t be monsters, what is left? like # Illness as Metaphor!!! virginia woolf tea!
alexia became adrien out of desperation but also i believe a part of her wanted to escape the binary of cis womanhood. she felt perverse and unruly in her desire for more than what she was saddled with. so she fucked the thing that made her “ugly” and “strange”. she formed a bond with her disfigurement in a way. as if to say “this is my unholy traipsing. my hideous gait. i am what titane took from me” and she made it divine yet perverse and she sold herself for the chance at transformation and ascension!!!!